I was just 10 years of age. And I do not know why but I was quite influenced by one jain monk. May be destiny was preparing my understanding for this day. And the jain monk was instrumental. I used to spend my afternoons with him listening to his stories on religious topics. His command of me worshipping my parents today is 22 yrs old as everyday before leaving the house for any work I touch the feet of my parents.
I can go on and on about him but I would like to stick to the other command of duty and that is to write about spiritual understanding and dealing with situations like victimization and divorce.
Muni Ratna Vijaya was his deeksha name. He told me about why a dog sucks and chews the bone and how we are no different. And he explained me something that I haven’t forgotten till date. And have been lucky to interpret it in the ever stressed situations of life. He said that the dog sucks the bone not because it finds it tasty but rather is deceived by its own limited thinking.
Dog would bite the bone, chew the bone and then suck it. In this process the bone will tear the gums and thus the blood would ooze from it. This blood is perceived by the dog as the taste of juice of the bone and will go on sucking without realizing that it is actually sucking its own blood and there is nothing like the juice of the bone.
Dogs accumulate bones and do not allow anyone to share. May be that is their prestige issue of achieving things. They would fight their life out too to achieve the bones. Similarly there are things in life that we too strive hard for without actually realizing why are we doing it? And where would that lead us to? We infact never realize that we are in a peer pressure; in a rat race and never bother it question us that whether it is worth it?
We compare ourselves with everything else without realizing that not everything is common at all. No 2 signatures of the same person are the same, five fingers are different in size. Then why do we become victims of artificially generated labels like success and failure? Rather it is all relative.
Imagine a stranger, standing in front of a house holding a card that is inverted and hence is not able to match the name on the card and the one on the name plate. Now tell me should he invert the card to read straight or should the door with the name plate be inverted so that it matches the text on the inverted card?
Similarly certain relationships go sour when this basic understanding to understand opposite person’s point of view is not taken into consideration and irreversible circumstances are then generated. And some cleverly blackmail with this logic too.
We need to stop chewing the bone. We need to understand that our dependency is on our action and our happiness which is independent of rat race. Generally couples fight when they compare themselves with others’ so called greener grass. Then they go tangent by getting in to petty issues. Trying to prove oneself right and win and thus losing the other forever. This mindset comes with an influence of the nearest opinion of the relatives.
Then comes ego and to fulfill ego the interdependency goes for a toss that otherwise causes synergy and comes in independence that is no less than chewing a bone.
e.g of the wrongs that actually lands up in chewing a bone and sucking our own blood in cases of marriage, divorce etc.
- Dowry demands because it has been a tradition and one needs to get better in rat race of demanding and getting it.
- Offering Dowry because it has been a tradition and one needs to get better in the rat race of giving it better than last given in that circle.
- Getting so called independent by becoming totally dependent on money (by 2 income families) and doing a job so that one can tame the monster called LIFESTYLE for the sake of status in society.
- Fighting court battles because the local bedroom and drawing room battles were lost so now chewing the bone called litigation that tares our pockets and getting the taste of ones own blood thinking we are winning or losing thus getting fame or sympathy, would lead us to loss on both sides.
Well in extreme cases battles need to be fought but with detachment and not the illusion of chewing the bone. Only then a person could remain calm, as Lord Mahavira advised the Chandakaushiya Cobra who turned nonviolent after being influenced by the Tirthankara, but also suffered as ants attacked the predator who had pledged penance, Lord Mahavira said that he has a right to Hiss and keep the attackers away. But on separate occasions also agreed that if you take is as the undoing of karma then your ticket for moksha would no longer be in the waiting list.
So let us forgive and forget those noble un-doers and part with them as friends if nothing else is workable. After all Let Live and Live should be the way of life and no one should be stuck or should suffer on account of anyone’s act.
With Humble Vibrations,
Jinesh Zaveri.
